Young As A Gun
by DavidoffBrittonova
Summary: The Devil is in the details in this first of three Relic Hunter stories...


Young as a Gun  
  
By David B  
  
  
  
Sometimes, the Devil is in the details, as it is in this Relic Hunter fanfic  
  
What is one third of infinity, but infinity itself?  
  
Prepare for a Great War, with a shocking twist.  
  
Prologue: Nothing Else matters  
  
Time: N/A  
  
He stood there, watching the entire universe unfold around him. "It was so good back then, before you betrayed me. Why did you, I gave you everything you could have ever wanted, yet, you, my most trusted, my Light-Bringer, you betrayed me, what was so wrong with me that you wanted me out." He turned around and looked upon a giant serpent. It hissed. "Brother, the main reason was simple, I wanted what you had, the power you gave yourself, the power you refused to those even of your own kind. We are brothers in the universe, we created it ourselves, yet, and you made me betray you. You did this to yourself. I will come back to you, on total dominion. You will see, Brother, what it is like to be in Hell for so long." The serpent hissed again, reared its head, and spoke in Latin. "I am Lord now." It disappeared. God sighed. "This time, I'm afraid you are right, Lucifer.  
  
  
  
"Sydney, there's a package here for you!" Nigel Bailey said as he walked into the office, sporting a large package. Sydney Fox looked at the package, and walked over. "Who's it from?" Nigel looked at the return address and smiled. "I don't know, but I think it's from Hell!" He pointed to the location of Hell, Michigan.  
  
Sydney thought for a moment "That's strange, I don't know anyone there, you'd think I'd remember them?" She opened the package slowly, and saw a piece of a stone tablet. On it was a very old written language, Sydney looked at it for a moment and said. "Nigel, if I didn't know any better, I'd say this is a piece of the Ten Commandments, see, this is in exactly the same style writing as they had back then. In fact, there are only a few people who could even begin to make a fake translation, and carve it on stone in this way. If it's the real deal, even this small of a piece would change the course of history to come."  
  
A voice from the air near the door said. "Yes, I know, that's why I sent it to you, Sydney, regrettably, it's the only piece I have. I obtained it from many years of investigating very deep caves. I found this at about 700 feet below the surface." Sydney turned around and said. "Who are you?" The man, who bore an uncanny resemblance to a recently deceased actor, minus a beard, and black hair smiled. "Jonathan Stoneagald. It's one of my duties in life to find all the lost holy relics, and I would hope you could help me, Sydney. I know you don't take money for your time, but please, anything you need, just name it, here's my number," He handed her a card, and continued. "My secutary will make sure you get it. Please, don't say no, I really need these Ten Commandments to be found." Sydney looked down at the man's extended hand, and shook it. "I believe we have a deal. You're the first person not to offer us no money." Jonathan smiled. "Thank you, Ms. Fox, and included in the package, is what I hope to be the location of the sixth commandment. That one is 'Thou shall not kill.' The fifth one, I believe. And I must go now, I have a very important meeting." He left rather quickly. "Well, it appears we have a monumnetous task on our hands, Sydney." Nigel said. "Tell me about it, did he strike you as odd?" She looked around in the package, and saw the note that told where the sixth commandment was. "It appears this one is in Saudi Arabia. In a town near Mecca." Nigel blinked. "What is the sixth commandment doing there, did the Muslims take it from Jerusalem when they invaded Europe over 700 years ago?" Sydney thought about it. "From what I remember reading somewhere, the Ten Commandments were broken up after the death of Moses. Of course, that's only according to a strange theory about the Israelites. Don't look at me, I didn't make the theory up. Plus, I wouldn't talk about it, if I weren't sure. It's one lead worth checking, well, I guess we're off to Saudi Arabia."  
  
Chapter 1 Hunt for Red October  
  
Jonathan Stoneagald walked into the small temple inside his office, and bowed down to the man sitting on a throne. "Sir, we have given her the first piece. She is on the trail of the second. What are your plans after she finds the remaining eight?" The man on the throne spoke with a think Romanian accent. "She will be of no more use to us then. But, remember, if she gets wise, and finds the hidden message that reveals the True name of God, and the invocation he used to trap me so long, well, it's back to square one, isn't it?" Jonathan gulped. "I understand, but it is written in Enochian, and what are the odds that she can speak, let alone read the Babel language?" Nicolae Jetty Carpathia stood up from the throne and said. "Then it is in our best interests that she does not come into contact with the Prophets, am I correct? Where are they, by the way?" Jonathan smiled. "Far away, they have yet to come down. We hope that they do not come down until they are supposed too, or we will be up shit creek without a paddle, won't we, Lord?" Nicolae smiled. "You are lucky I have a sense of humor far better than God's." Jonathan smiled. "I understand. I assure you, barring unforeseen consequences, we will take care of her when the time comes." Nicolae smiled. "Excellent, and when she completes the Ten Commandments, and when we receive it, the world shall be on its knees to us. Along with her, if you know what I mean?" Jonathan smiled. "I understand just fine, Lord."  
  
Two days later.  
  
Sydney looked at the cave entrance, and said. "This is strange, according to this map, this cave should be three hundred feet farther?" Nigel looked up at the cave, and said. "Are you sure, I never read anything about reality phasing caves." He smiled at her. Sydney laughed. "I really don't think we have to worry about phasing caves either, what game is that from, anyway?" Nigel thought for a moment. "I think Magic: The Gathering. I'm not sure though." Sydney nodded. "Probably, wouldn't be too surprised. Well, let's see where this cave leads us."  
  
An hour later, Sydney and Nigel were still walking in the cave. "Sydney, doesn't this seem strange, we're just walking around, going nowhere fast." Sydney sighed. "That's what's so confusing, not one trap, not one false wall, not anything that could hold a key to what's going on here." Nigel leaned on a wall and fell through. Sydney ran over and stepped through. "An illusionary wall, now why didn't I think of that before." Nigel shook his head. "Probably because that's what you'd least expect." Sydney smiled. "Yeah, tell me about it." She looked around, looking for traps, expecting everything closely. "Okay, I don't see anything, but we should be very careful, we don't know what kind of strange traps might be in here." "Maybe one to make it cooler, maybe?" Sydney smiled. "I'd like that myself, even in Hawaii it's not this hot." She walked carefully over to a small, natural, water-filled bowl, about four feet around. "Hmm, Nigel, I think I know where it is, we need to find something to pour some water into those four indentations that you see on the sides, the only question is, in what order. Nigel thought about it. "The compass, north, east, south, and west, perhaps." Sydney nodded. "Yes, that would make sense, let's see, we arrived here from the west, so this one is north." She touched the water, and said. "Let's hope this works." She cupped her hands together, and drew water, and then transferred it to the small indentation. She finished the other three, and heard something raising out of the water.  
  
A small stone tablet raised out of the water. Sydney looked around, and saw a hole in the wall. She placed a rock in front of the hole, and quickly grabbed the stone tablet. The rock jumped, and tumbled to the floor, a small arrow stuck in it. "Well, that was quick thinking, Sydney." Sydney thought about it. "Almost too easy." She heard something in the distance, and something flashed in the air, flying towards Nigel's head. "Get down." Nigel fell to the floor just as a sharp round disk struck the wall where his head was. It bounced off and hit the floor, sticking in it. Nigel looked at the object and said. "A chakram, that's an ancient Greek weapon, not ancient Hebrew. In fact, it's almost two thousand years newer." Sydney nodded. "Very odd." Sydney slowly moved to the fake wall, and looked around the room. "Okay, Nigel, I think the traps are only in this room, so if you get up from there and run, you can make it through the doorway before anything else hits you. I hope." Nigel smiled. "Well, if you want me too." He ran as fast as he could. Sydney followed him, and stepped on something that clicked. From the wall opposite the door, a spear launched itself at Sydney's back. Nigel saw the spear come through a moment later and said. "Sydney, you okay?" When there was no reply, he ran through the fake wall/doorway. He saw Sydney lying on the ground, a spear sticking, from what looked like her shoulder. "SYDNEY!" He ran over and she looked up at him. "I find it very suprizing one would have a trap trigger two different places.there's one for the history books. OOH."  
  
Nigel looked down and gasped. "Sydney! It's." Sydney looked at him and said. "Let me guess, it's stabbed me above the heart.I thought it was the shoulder too, but I'm feeling different pain than that. If it makes you feel any better, I'll live." She tried to move, and said. "OW! I hope I'll live. This hurts." Nigel worked up the courage he needed. "Um, Sydney, the spear isn't above your heart." Sydney blinked. "What do you mean, if it was any lower, I'd be dead." Nigel said. "That's what I'm saying too. But I wouldn't look up if I were you." Sydney blinked. "Now how could I do that anyway, Nigel, I feel like it ripped my back out as well." At that moment something large and red hit the ground next to Sydney, she looked at it and said. "Please tell me that is not what I think it is." The object pulsed and then exploded in a shower of blood. Nigel covered his face. Sydney groaned. "Oh, great, I'm stuck in a Evil Dead movie. What next, zombies." Nigel looked back and said. "Well, either you're not human, or that was God's bad idea of a joke." Sydney groaned and felt newfound strength in her. She pushed the spear out of her, and got up. "Sydney?" Sydney looked down, saw the hole in her chest start to heal, and said. "Nigel, am I dead or something else." Nigel looked at her. "Well, you're not moaning 'brains' so, I don't think you're dead. What I just saw though, breaks every law or reality there is." Sydney groaned. "Just call me Sydney the Immortal." She half joked. "Let's not tell anyone, I'd rather not be a target practice for people with swords."  
  
Nigel smiled. "That makes sense, Sydney." Sydney looked at the hole, which was almost healed, and said. "Let me get the stone tablet, and let's get out of here. I need to change shirts." Her shirt was soaked blood red, which was amazing, since it was black to begin with. "I am definitely not having a good day." She said. Nigel looked at his yellow-blue shirt, and saw that he was clean. "Well, I'd give you mine, but it's the only one I packed with me." Sydney smiled. "I have an idea, why don't I just make it change. I can't die, maybe I can change things with my mind too?" Her shirt turned white. She jumped. "Okay, I'm scared now, how about you, Nigel?" Nigel sighed. "I think I need a stiff drink." Sydney shook her head clear of cobwebs, and walked through the fake wall. Nigel followed and said. "I wonder how anyone is going to explain this.I certainly can't." Sydney sighed. "Let's look for the next piece first."  
  
Chapter 2 Strange beginnings  
  
One week later.  
  
Sydney looked around the office of Jonathan Stoneagald, and looked at the box containing the Ten Commandments, albeit not in one piece. Nigel was busy at the office, going over the classes he was going to teach. The strange events on their first day were almost completely forgotten to Nigel. However, Sydney still was finding more and more strange happenings. Earlier that day, she had spilled coffee on herself, and it didn't even burn. She wondered if she could even feel pain. "Everything has a price." She mused to herself. Jonathan walked out of his inner office, with Nicolae Carpathia and said. "Thank you so much, Sydney for finding them. If there's anything we can do for you, just let us know." Nicolae took the box and said. "Thank you, Ms. Fox, We appreciate this so much." Sydney shook her head of the dizziness she was getting and said. "Thanks, I think I'll be going now." She made it a few steps before she collapsed to the floor." Nicolae smiled. "Sometimes mind control works best on Immortals. She will sleep for quite some time, allowing us to make my reign complete."  
  
Sydney groaned and looked around. "Where am I?" Nigel walked over. "It looks like some kind of jail cell." A door opened and light shined in. A voice shouted. "I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU FIRE!" Nigel shook his ears. "OW, what is this, Godlike volume day?" A young man walked down the stairs and said. "Sorry, forgot to turn down the stereo. Sydney looked at the man and said. "Do I know you?" The young man smiled. "You should, Sydney, very much so." He transformed into Nicolae, making Nigel blink in surprise. "Isn't this fun, Sydney, I have been waiting for this for over six thousand years. The end of all He created is in my grasp, and my New Kingdom shall reign." Nigel looked at him and said. "So, you're the devil, can't say I'm really scared of you." Lucifer shifted into a more normal form, towering five feet over Nigel and said. "You were saying?" Nigel sat down on the floor and said. "Yeah, that works." He closed his eyes, and Sydney stood up to the Beast. "You may be the devil, and you may have fooled me into working with you, but there's one thing you didn't expect." Lucifer laughed. "Your immortality? Please, I'm the one that gave it to you. WAHAHAH! Now, we can fight for eternity! It's a deal if you think about it, instead of tormenting you, I fight you, I can be fair." Sydney looked up at Lucifer and said. "You don't scare me, Belial was more scary!" Lucifer laughed, "Yes, well, I'd like to see what you can do to me." Sydney looked up at him and said. "Pick on someone your own size." Lucifer shrank back down to her size and swung a fist as her. She dodged, and the bars behind her head curved outwards. Lucifer smiled. "I can feel the same amount of pain that you can." Sydney kicked him, momentarily confusing him. "Hey! No kicking me below the belt." "Well, you were right about that, then." She crouched to the floor, and flung dirt in his eyes. "Aughh! That's dirty pool!" Sydney smiled. "I heard that in a fight with the devil, there are no rules." Lucifer smiled. "So be it." The cell disappeared, replaced by a fiery inferno.  
  
Sydney unleashed a dazzling number of moves on Lucifer, landing on 8 of the ten. Lucifer growled. "Well, I seemed to have under estimated you, Sydney. Well, no longer." He swung at her, knocking her five feet through a wall of fire. She got back up after a second and ran through the fire, not even feeling it. "Maybe this was a stupid mistake on your part."  
  
The battle continued for another fifty minutes, until Lucifer sank to his knees and groaned. "Ugh, How could a human Immortal ever have a chance of defeating me. I'll be back, and you will be in pain then." He burst into flames. Suddenly, Sydney found herself in her office, with Nigel looking up at her from the floor. "What happened? Was that really the Devil?"  
  
Sydney smiled. "If that was, he was a lot weaker than they say." A voice from the heavens spoke. "Not quite true, you have God-blood in you, making you that much more stronger than any other human, it took a fatal wound to give it to you fully. You now must prepare for the second, third, and final battle." Sydney looked up at the sky and said. "God-Blood, I don't understand?" The voice replied. "Your father was Zeus. It's a long story." The voice then explained the long story to her. Nigel listened in and then when the voice was gone. "Well, Devil-slayer, what do we do now?" Sydney smiled. "That is up to you, I think you need a vacation. With the girl of your dreams." Nigel smiled. "After all that, I would like that. But, who are you talking about?" Sydney smiled. "Don't think I don't know about all those looks you give me when you think I'm not looking." Nigel blushed and backed up against a wall. Sydney smiled, walked over and kissed him. "Don't worry about it."  
  
The End, or is it? 


End file.
